I don't say this to imply that teachers are evil, hateful people that are sacrificing live chickens at recess. Not at all. But I have certain beliefs that I feel are crucial to the success of my children in life, and I don't want to have someone else undermine that.
Let's take sex ed as an example.
I think that there is not a thing wrong with sex, when it happens between two married people. (Married to each other, not to different people, by the way. You have to clarify this nowadays.) Quite frankly, it's fun and enjoyable.
I want my kids to learn that it is fun and enjoyable when it happens with their spouse. I also want them to know that besides all of the other complications of sex outside of marriage (pregnancy, STD's, etc.), sex without the benefit of marriage is just plain wrong. Period.
In school, kids are taught about sex and told how to have "safer sex." (Notice that they don't call it "safe" sex anymore - it's "safer" sex. Like having only one bullet in a gun aimed at your head instead of six.) Abstinence is not considered a "reasonable" approach. (As if kids are such wild animals they cannot control themselves and will rip their clothes off at a moment's notice. Poor things.) So, by that reasoning, we must teach kids about birth control because they simply cannot be expected to not have sex.
Of course they can be expected to not have sex. If they are too immature to be "in control," then it is my job as a parent to help them and guide them until they are old enough. Not to acknowledge that they are unable to control themselves, so here is a condom. (They are too immature to control themselves, but they are going to stop and put on a condom??? Am I the only one who thinks there is a flaw in this logic??)
I look at it this way: if my teens/kids are taught from a young age (by me) what to expect from their social life, then it won't be an issue until they are older.
My kids know they will not be walking out of here on a date until they are 18 years of age. period. End of discussion. And have a high school diploma.
Until they are 18, they can go on group activities, have friends over for "family" dates, etc., but they will not be on a solo date until they have become 18 and have a high school diploma.
They will be told how the best way to get to know someone is to be in a group setting and see how he/she interacts with others in the group/family, not just how he/she treats you.
How else this protects my kids:
- Abusers/Potential abusers often isolate their victims. Keeping the kids in a group dynamic prevents this isolation and, thus, protects from abuse. (My kids, especially my girls, know the warning signs of an abuser.)
- It's really hard for Mr. Charming to sweet-talk the pants off of my daughters with Mom and Dad 3 feet away.
- It expands their social circle. Often teens that date spend all of their time with the one person they date. If that relationship fails, it can be devastating because the teen has no other friends! (Or, the teen stopped socializing with friends to be with the boyfriend/girlfriend and now is too embarrassed to call and try to get together with the friends now that the relationship is over.)
- It helps keep family ties strong. It's hard to be secretive when you spend a lot of time together. I have a 14, 11, 9 and 3 year old. They all chatter up a storm with me about all kinds of stuff, and I hope they always do.
- It helps them get a "feel" for people so that when they are old enough to date, they will be able to spot the "warning flags" more easily. It's one thing to be told about "red flags". It's another thing to have them pointed out.
I have nothing against dating. I have done my fair share. I just think it is wrong for you to put a teen in a situation that they are too young for. (Not just from a sex standpoint, but from an emotional standpoint.) Then tell them it's okay to have sex, and here's how you can reduce (not eliminate) the chances of pregnancy, STD's etc.
Now for my theory about why schools don't promote abstinence-only programs.
I feel that there are many reasons, but one that stands out (for me) is that teens that have sex will inevitably lead to pregnancy, and many of those pregnancies will lead to abortion, which is a big business. They will also "need" birth control - more big business. There are also school counselors and nurses and many other positions that are needed for the social issues that arise with sexually active teens. Cynical? Yes. But that's my theory. Follow the money.
And I don't want my kids to be a part of that agenda.